Bad behaviour

[Liz]

HELP...please

I am at a loss at the moment with one of my charges.
He is 3 1/2 yrs old and was the most placid baby i've ever looked after..

He is now a shocker!!!
His behaviour has got increasingly worse..particularly when he doesn't get his own way.
His parents are really lovely and treat him wonderfully.
This week he spat in my face when i told him off for hitting his sister, i was so shocked i put him on the naughty step and had to leave the room.
I really am at a loss to know what to do next.
Any advice would really be appreciated.

Liz 

[Lia1040]

Hi Liz, Hope this helps - try not to focus on the bad behaviour, the naughty step works well for 'general' unwanted behaviour but the step its self can become a battle ground. Try not to react emotionally when an incident ocurrs. Everyone finds it really hard not to react especially when spat at which often feels worse than been hit. Kids love to press our buttons and spitting gets an instant reaction. My advice would be avoid eye contact, give attention to the other child (or you) and if you use the step just take him and dont speak. (lots of people would disagree with this and super nanny herself advises you get down to their level  and explain why you are doing it - fine if you have got all day). He is probably a bright little chap and will be well aware why is is going there. While doing all of this the most important thing which often gets over looked is to set up a positive or wanted behaviour system (stickers, star chart etc) and give LOADS of praise for things he does well- over do it to start with and even offer and incentive such as a sweet, treat or toy for completeing a row of sticker etc. NEVER take stickers or rewards away as it will devalue them to him. The most common 'behaviour problem' I used to advise on was, when the adults and children get locked in a negative cycle which actually re inforces the unwanted behaviour. Good Luck Julia xx

[Liz]

Thanks julia....great advice.
A chart is being made today . I'm not going to see them for a couple of weeks, a break is what i need right now.
Liz x

[Liz]

Thought i'd let you know whats been happening at work regarding my charges behaviour.

We are currently using the marbles in a jar method(suggested by the parents).
Basically he is rewarded with a marble for good behaviour and one is taken away for bad behaviour.
At the end of the day he gets a small treat if the jar is full.

Its working brilliantly and his behaviour has really improved.

Liz x